Have I told you lately how much I HATE video games? Oh, how I hate them.
As a kid, I watched my siblings sit and play for hours, oblivious to anything else. When I had my own kids, I did not want those games in my home, and I married a man who felt the same way. But we inherited an old Play Station from my parents, and the kids loved it, so I allowed it, even though it was against my better judgement.
Then, a couple of years later, the Wii was introduced…and it was active play…so I thought that maybe it would be different – less addicting maybe. The boys wanted one SO BADLY. They worked to earn the money to buy it themselves, which was no small undertaking, so I didn’t feel like I could say no.
It soon became apparent that this was no different from any other gaming system in the way that my kids behaved while using it. They fought. They argued over whose turn it was and who was winning. I was constantly playing referee.
They completely ignored me when I was trying to talk to them while they were playing. They wanted to play it ALL the time. When they had friends over, they would all sit and stare at the screen with controllers in hand, with very little interaction.
I DESPISED that thing.
Where was the person to person interaction? Where was the imaginative play? It had all been sucked up by this little white box.
I didn’t like what it was doing to my family. Some of my kids were becoming obsessed. Having witnessed some adults who had allowed video games to take over their lives and their families, I worried about the same thing happening to my kids, especially the boys. I didn’t want these games running their lives at that moment, or at any point in the future.
It seemed like they were already on the path to addiction, and it scared me. So, I made a bold move. I got rid of the Wii – the one that they bought with their own money – and I vowed never to buy another gaming system.
Yes, there was pushback. They were angry, to put in mildly. For a while, they didn’t know what to do with themselves. They were incessantly BORED.
But you know what? Boredom has its advantages. It forced them to figure out some other ways to entertain themselves. Eventually, they started acting like normal kids. They started to use their imaginations.
Don’t you love these homemade stilts?
They started spending more time outside.
They dove into reading.
All of them are now avid readers…especially the one who was the most obsessed with the video games. He always has his nose in a book, and I’m OK with that.
As much as I would like to say that we never play electronic games, that would not be true. The boys have a couple of games on their phones, and Elise has a couple on her iPod, but they will lose those in a hurry if I see them neglecting other things because they are immersed in a game.
Carson will sometimes play games on the iPad. The kids will occasionally play educational games on the computer. They may play video games when they are at friend’s houses, but that is about the extent of it. No Minecraft. No multiplayer online games. No game consoles.
I know; we are weird. Some people might think my kids are deprived or that we are way behind the times. But that does not bother me one bit.
My hope is to teach my kids that there are plenty of better things to do with their time and that video games can be a trap – a very REAL addiction. I have seen it first hand, and that is not what I want for them.
I don’t want them to miss the richness of personal connections that cannot be made through a screen. I don’t want them to get stuck in the virtual world and lose sight of the real world. I don’t want them to lose their drive and ambition to make something out of their lives because it is easier to play that game until you beat the next level…and the next.
I don’t want my boys to grow up and neglect their wives or children for online games, and I pray that my girls will someday marry boys who understand these things as well.
I don’t care if gaming is what everybody else is doing. It is not what we do. Call us weird if you want to; I promise I will not be offended. It just might feel like a badge of honor.
Totally agree. We never had video games so far. My kids get to play at friends houses thought. Some times I wonder if we did the right thing, when my younger wants to spend too much time in his friends house (because of the wii). But then I see that our home is for him “the peacefull place to be”. Thanks for your words.
Glad I’m not alone in this decision! We are going for the “peaceful place to be” as well. Thanks for reading.
Video games aren’t a trap. If controlled properly, they can be very entertaining and sometimes can make you think a lot. They also have a lot of imagination going through the games. In fact, it’s because of this that there are people who are creating video games right now, they are inspired by other video games, (sometimes even books, or movies) and they use their imagination to try and create something unique and fresh. And just like books, there can even be a whole lot of storytelling going on. I can give you a two examples of this:
The Last of Us
Final Fantasy
etc
Both of these are video games, and just like books, they can offer a whole lot of storytelling and imagination just like books do. Heck, there are some books that get adapted to video games, as well. So I leave here saying that I’m not here to say that you’re a bad parent. I’m saying that video games are as bad as you may think they are. Just like the old saying “You can’t judge books by it’s cover”, I say “You can’t judge video games by it’s cover”.
Yes, there are video games that encourage imagination and creativity, and I do know that I am in the minority with my strong feelings on this topic. However, I personally would rather my kids develop and use their creativity in other ways. I have witnessed first-hand the results of video game addiction, and it is a very real problem for some. I do not even want to take that chance with my kids, especially since some of them tend to have trouble with moderation. It’s a personal decision, and I am not saying that everybody should follow suit. I’m sure that some games have redeeming qualities, but I feel the potential drawbacks far outweigh the benefits, at least when we are talking about my own family.
I felt like even though this is an old post I needed to reply to it. I also don’t allow video games in our house. I grew up playing 4-8 hours of video games a day, every day. Yes it helps with hand eye coordination. So does piano, woodworking, or painting. It fosters exploring your own personal imagination, but in my experience not nearly as deeply as creating something from nothing (making something with your hands). It’s super fun and can be super addictive. I could limit myself and my kids to 2 hours a week and use moderation, but for those few hours we could be doing more productive and interactive things that also teach us a new skill. Video games are entertaining at best but not beneficial. And as fun as they are you often do get into a pattern where kids are behaving like zombies because they’ve stared at a screen too long, or they’re fighting with you over how much time they can still play. That’s why we decided they didn’t belong in our home. Great article.
I agree with you 100% that making something from nothing is a whole lot more beneficial than video games. The fact that they supposedly help with hand-eye coordination is not enough of a draw for me to open the door to something that could be highly addictive. And behaving like zombies is a real side-effect. No, thank you! Thanks for your thoughts. We are definitely on the same page!
Do you consider coding, programming, or game design productive?
That is a good question. I think all of those things involve learning and practicing new skills, so I suppose they are productive. Since I am not a fan of gaming, I would personally shy away from game design. But learning coding, programming, and design skills would be very beneficial in our digital landscape, so I say go for it.