We have lived in a lot of homes (and apartments); 10, to be exact. From our first little two bedroom apartment with a beehive in the wall (that’s an entertaining story for another time) to the beautiful house on the hill to the 3300 square foot rambler where we currently live, we have experienced quite the range of living spaces. Each has had its benefits and drawbacks, and none of them have been ideal for various reasons. Like bees in the wall, for instance. I probably could have lived without those.
A few months ago, we were considering the possibility of another move. Several factors played into our decision to look at other housing options. First, we wanted space for teenagers to gather. Second, high school, with its mix of friends. Third, we felt like we needed another bathroom because all five kids currently share one shower. That gets tricky with three teenagers and one almost 12-year-old. Bathroom time is like gold around here.
There were other reasons, too, like the lack of an eat-in kitchen, drainage issues, and the fact that I sometimes get antsy for change. But you get the idea.
For a few weeks, we looked at our options. We scoured the Internet for homes, finding very few that were in our price range and fit our criteria. We called mortgage companies to see if they would approve us for more money, causing me to hyperventilate just a little at the thought of increased debt. No matter how hard we tried, we could not feel good about the prospect of leaving our home, despite all of the things that we felt were lacking in our current space, and all of the perceived benefits of moving.
But how would we ever survive the bathroom wars? Are three showers for a family of seven growing kids/teenagers/young adults too much to ask? (Greg and I are young adults, in case you were wondering. It does not matter that we have an 18-year-old. Youth is in the eye of the beholder and our eyes are those of spring chickens.)
The truth is that I grew up in an 1800 square foot home, along with my parents and five siblings. We had four small bedrooms and two bathrooms between us. My three brothers shared a tiny bedroom and my two sisters and me, who were older, shared two bedrooms.
For most of my youth, my family only had one car and, for a time, it was a small SUV with four seatbelts. That was in the days before seatbelt laws, so we crammed three kids into the small back seat and three kids into the back of the SUV that people generally reserve for transporting cargo.
I was a teenager at the time and, with my long legs (which are longer than Greg’s, by the way, even though he is three inches taller than I), that was no fun. Plus, out of necessity, we went through an entire Arizona summer with no air conditioning in that beast.
Somehow, we made it work and survived to tell the tale. I’m sure I am a better person because I lived through years of financial hardship. Yet, 25 years later, I thought I needed another bathroom and an eat-in kitchen when I already had a beautiful, albeit imperfect, home, nestled on an acre of land in a neighborhood that I adore.
Perhaps I had confused my wants and needs just a teensy bit.
It is easy to get caught up in the rat-race of wants. The comparison trap constantly looms overhead, waiting for me to take the bait and start to wallow in thoughts such as, “How can they afford that when we cannot?”
I get so caught up in my own world that I fail to think of the one-third of the world’s population that does not even have access to a toilet, not to mention the 50% of people worldwide who live on less than $2.50 per day. That equates to $75 per month and $900 per year.
Maybe one shower for five kids is not much to complain about.
When I start to count my blessings, I get a bit overwhelmed at how they overflow into every aspect of life. The inconvenience of waiting a few minutes for a free bathroom is a small price to pay in return.
Have you had any experiences that have taught you how to distinguish between wants and needs? I would love to hear your thoughts in the comments section below.
I have found in my life that getting everything you want doesn’t make you happy like you are so sure in your mind it will. I have seen how wants can be insatiable, and contentment with what the Lord has blessed you with can allow you to be happy no matter what your circumstances are.
I remember when we first moved here we found this house miraculously but I thought it was too small (and it also only had one bathroom). But the longer we live here, the more I realize it exactly fits our needs, and it’s become obvious to me that someone who loves me very much– my Heavenly Father, picked it out specifically for us. Wish I wouldn’t have spent all the time hoping/trying to find something different– I missed out on a lot of happiness and gratitude I could have felt instead!
So grateful for a Heavenly Father who blesses us so much! Thanks for writing Lynette this was something I had thought about last week but hadn’t taken the time to write down, but now I did because of you! Thanks again!
So eloquently said, Ashley. I love how you said that the more you live there, the more you feel like it is exactly what you need. That is how I feel also. For all of the headaches that my house has given me since we moved here four years ago, I know that it is where we need to be. All the minor annoyances about it pale in comparison to that. Thanks for your insight.
When I went to the Dominican Republic a few months ago I saw people living the life you describe…and it was heart-breaking. I felt so much gratitude and so much guilt. We are so blessed.
Well said, Jill. We are so blessed. I have never seen what you saw in the DR, but I can only imagine what that must have been like. I need to work on being a little more grateful and not taking what I have for granted.
We recently watched a series on Netflix called the kindness diaries. What really struck me is that the poorer people were usually the most generous and kind. It really made me stop and think about the value I place on things and do I truly feel grateful and willing to share the abundance I truly have. This was a beautifully written post. Thank you!
xoxo, Amy
Social media often encourages wants over needs. A friend of mine posted pics of her beautiful newly renovated kitchen and I immediately started wanting a kitchen renovation too. Our kitchen is pretty rustic. But you know what, its perfectly functional, and I certainly don’t need a renovation right now plus the budget doesn’t allow for it. After I got over my brief “i want a kitchen renovation too!!” meltdown, I came to my senses, the feeling went away, and I’m perfectly fine with my kitchen again. Let’s hope she doesn’t renovation her bathroom next! lol
That is such a great example, Holly. Social media can be a blessing and a curse. I’m glad you came to your senses and listened to your budget! Good for you, girl!